Sunday, January 18, 2009

'Ñeta que Piquiña...






¿Quién no sabe lo que es el nie? ¡Anormales! Todo el mundo sabe que el nie es la zona que está detrás de las pelotas pero alfrente del culete. Las nenas no tienen nie porque tienen la crica bien cerca al culo, papa-Dios fue bien eficiente con el uso de espacio en las nenas. Están demasiado pegados eso sí. Y esa cercanía crea confusión. ¿O ustedes creen que los orígenes del sexo anal fueron apropósito? El primer anal fue sin querer de seguro. Después los patos se enteraron y hicieron fiesta. Continuando. Le llaman el “nie” porque ni es culo ni es bolas, es el nie. Hay unos tipos en Puerto Rico que hicieron como un clubsito que utiliza las siglas NIE, Negociado de Investigaciones Especiales. ¡Whatever! Esos cabrones lo que han logrado es confundir a todo el mundo bien cabrón. ¡Es más, lo que deberían investigar es porqué es que mi nie me pica tanto! Ya a mi ni me importa rascarme frente a quien sea. Puedo estar en una entrevista de trabajo y si me entra la piqiña, le voy a someter a la rascaera y con entusiasmo. Mi mamá me explicó que quizá eso se debe a que no me baño bien. Y, la realidad es que, eso me hace un sentido demente. Porque, ok, yo me baño medio algarete y estoy seguro que no le estoy prestando la atención suficiente al área del nie. En esa zona yo nisiquiera froto. Sin embargo, uno debería frotar esa zona para limpiarla bien. La cosa es que yo no me quiero tocar el pelo después de sobetiarme todo el nie (por ahí puede haber caca), y a mi me gusta finalizar mi baño con el conditioner, osea que hay que encontrar otras alternativas. He aqui los niepillos, cepillos, pero para el nie. Podríamos utilizar los cepillos esos para limpiar el borde de los inodoros, que de hecho, también tienen caca. Entonces con eso nos frotamos el nie bien chévere.

Una notita: Los homosexuales porfavor no se enchismen por yo haber utilizado la palabra "pato". Yo pienso que los homosexuales son tremendísimas personas. Yo hasta trabajaba con uno y hablaba con el y fíjate que el tipo era inteligente y eso. Podíamos casi conversar. EL tipo estaba en universidad y todo. Asi que no todos los homosexuales son brutos y por ende, no deberíamos acostumbrarnos a llamarles "patos".

28 comments:

Gajonauta said...

Diablo, el picor en el nie es lo peor que hay. Como uno no se puede rascar con las unyas ahi, hay que agarrar la arruguita esa y pellizcarla hasta que se vaya el dolor. Tu ves? Si las casas aun tuvieran bidets, seria mas facil lavarselo.

Jonmicol said...

porque no te compras un cepillo de dientes de esos que son "sensitive"y así te puedes limpiar el nie como mejor te paresca. Lo único malo que yo veo es que quizas un día medio borracho lleges y te laves los dientes con el niebrush.

...en ontra note....porque es que uno ya no le debería decir pato a los patos?

Gajonauta said...

Punto para Jonmicol. Mas feo que la palabra pato es un bicho cubierto con mierda y pelo de otro macho.

Virgen said...

deberias tener cuidado con eso, puede ser un ITS. de no ser así bañate y afeitate, a veces cuando estoy al natural me da picor así que me someto a una desforestación.

Nerdote said...

Wow gajo sé exactamente de lo que hablas cuando dices "pellizcarte la arruguita" y es q la gente se confunde pq creen que lo q nos pican son las pelotas! Pues no punyeta!

Jonmicol, habia considerado esa alternativa pero la descarté rápidamente. También pensé en frotarse con las piedras esas que usamos para frotarnos las plantas de los pies, q sacan pellejos y demás. Pero esas mierdas pueden sacar sangre!

Virgen sigue afeitándote el bicho y compartiendo con nosotros! Un virgen hablando de deforestacion. Gracias por comentar!

Feto said...

Cabrón. En el nie es donde unico se ve costura de la piel humana. Eso esta algarete.

Si se pone serio el picor hechate insecticida.

Nerdote said...

Jajajajajaja ay cabrón me meo es verdad!

Gajonauta said...

Toma, Don Nerdote. http://www.cabinetmagazine.org/issues/28/gilbert_zevit.php

Copia ese link que te contestara todas tus preguntas acerca de la costura del nie.

Para resumirlo, segun algunos estudiosos de la Biblia creen, Dios no tomo el hueso de la costilla de Adan, sino el del bicho pa' hacer a Eva. Lo que explica por que el hombre no tiene hueso del bicho (termino cientifico) al contrario de la mayoria de los primates y pq tenemos la "cicatriz" (llamada Raphe - con acento en la e) en el area del nie.

Claro, eso es si crees en esos cuentos de hadas.

Nerdote said...

Gracias por el resumen gajo. Empezé a leer y me quité porque se pusieron medios complicados con los términos. A la verdá que la gente si inventa lo que sea para explicar cosas del bicho ah?

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