- Si abres la nevera, se enciende una lucesita. ¿Y si abres el freezer? Nada. ¿Porqué es que el freezer no tiene su lucesita también? Esa pendejá como que no me cuadra.
- Antes le decían "puti pants". Ahora son "skinny jeans". ¿Alguien ha logrado usar los bolsillos de estos pantalones? En esos bolsillos no cabe na'. Y si logras guardar algo en ellos; suerte tratando de sacarlo. Te vas a tener que tirar un bailecito maroma para lograr la estracción. Y si estás sentado y quieres sacar algo; pichea, eso es imposible. Tienes que ponerte de pie para entonces tirarte el bailecito maroma.
- Cuando me sale un pellejito en el dedo, toda mi vida revuelve en él hasta que se desprenda de mi cuerpo.
- Los gringos siguen insistiendo en ponerse las gorras pa' atrás. Eminem es un pendejo y el tipo de LimpBizquit también.
- Nunca en mi vida me comí los crusts de las pizzas. Hasta que estaba pelau' y las pagaba yo. Ahora me los como con gusto.
- Las palabras "matraca" y "tráfala" son palabras que me tripean. ¿Se deberá eso a que ambas tienen la sílaba "tra" en ellas? No sé. Pero la palabra "crico" también tripea y no tiene "tra" en ella. Diache imagínate eso: "ponte en cuatro mami que te voy a comer la critra" jajaja. Cool.
- El beneficio que tienen los periódicos sobre las computadoras es que te los puedes llevar a cagar. Y cagar mientras uno lee, o leer mientras uno caga; tripea.
- Otro beneficio: si estás afuera, y empieza a llover, puedes ponerte el periódico sobre la cabeza, para no mojarte mucho. No hagas esto con tu computadora. Eso las jode.
- ¿Porqué es que no todos los corta-uñas vienen con la cuchillita esa pa' sacar mugre?
- Tripea que una jeva te raspe una puñeta. No tripea que el lechaso te caiga en el cuello. Eso no está tan nítido. Además que TU reacción a TU propia leche, puede demoralizarla. Si te pasa, trata de actuar como si el líquido sobre tu piel se siente cabrón. Puntos extra si te frotas el lechazo mientras gimes.
- Los corta uñas deberían de venir con una lupita. Y con chavos. Que tu compres un corta uñas, y venga con chavos el hijueputa. Eso estaría nítido.
- Lo malo de piratiar música es que no tienes el "librito" ese que venía dentro del cd case. Esos libritos tripean, especialmente pa' leerlos mientras uno caga. Leer mentras uno caga está brutal.
- ¿Para qué prender el aire acondicionado si me voy a arropar?
- Tu sabes, cuando una nena pone "xoxo" al final de una carta. Aprovecha. Te está ofreciendo el chocho.
- Una amiga mia se comía las uñas. Un día le regalé un montón de uñas mias que llevaba recopilando por meses. No las quiso. Decía disque solamente se comía sus propias uñas. Ya no somos amigos.
- Escribir y cagar. A la vez. Se puede.
- Gloria Soltero es una maliánte
91 comments:
Gloria soltero es una polla. Esa doña es super elegante...
viste el discurcito?
El discurso se escuchó, no se vió. Lo que se vió fue a Susan dando el discurso que tú escuchaste.
Digo yo, qué sé yo...
Cabron, tu escribistes este post mientras cagabas?
Iba a preguntar lo mismo.
Parece que fue una mezcla de conversaciones y acciones mientras escribia.
a mi me encanta cagar y leer el periodico. a veces me tardo y my mai se encojona.
pude visualizar lo del corta una con chavos. Esa idea estaria carona. hay que ir a Pepe ganga a ver si no la tiene.
me tripea decir "cogeme la matraca". es satisfactorio, como que brinda cierta seguridad
escribir y cagar es bien divertido, pero si te pones la laptop en la falda como a los cinco minutos no tripea
mira del 7 difiero viteh, yo me llevo mi lastos pa cagar y es mas emocionante aun, pero sin internet pues soy tan pobre que no tengo wuayarless =( aunque mejor pq no me lo roban los cabrones vecinos, gracias
"Si te pasa, trata de actuar como si el líquido sobre tu piel se siente cabrón. Puntos extra si te frotas el lechazo mientras gimes."
jajajajajaja
Eso iba a decir llevarte la labtop pa cagar es melaza! pero despues d los 5 min sientes esa compu super caliente en los muslos ahi es q empiezas a sudar como un demente! es como un "workout" completo!
Esto me acuerda a los short takes de los libros de George Carlin. Me encanto.
Con respecto a la 3, pocas cosas me encojonan mas que un cuerito suelto en la base de la unya del pulgar. Por que carajos le salen a uno esas cosas?
Lo de los gringos con la gorra pa' tras me encojona. Especialmente si son unos viejotes ya como Eminem y Fred Durst.
Yo me pongo la gorra pa'tras y que se joda. Total yo puedo, soy b-boy, somos los unicos que podemos hacer eso porque dominamos el baile callejero.
Una vez estaba viendo "Y Tu Mama Tambien" y una nena me raspo una casket, estaba tan bellaco que la leche me cayo en un ojo, se me puso bien rojo bien cabron como nunca. Se lo dije a mis amigos y me dijeron que ellos le hubieran dao una pela a la tipa. Yo no, yo me puse bien contento de la potencia de mis bolas.
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^^jaja esa foto está bien cabrona.
Oye, con lo de la compu en el baño. yo la pongo encima del zafacon. Si tienes un "hamper" q no sea una bolsa dde basura, puedes usarlo como escritorio también.
dialo a mi nunca se me ocurrio eso, me diste la idea de usar la mesita que mi mai usa pa comer en la sala. ¿se encojonará si la uso pa cagar?
Lo malo tambien es que si te quedas mucho rato en el tolie te duelen las nalgas.
Si yo me quedo mucho rato en el toile, lo sudo.
A mi me da calambre en la pierna izquierda y me encojona limpiarme el culo sintiendo como electricidad en la jodia pierna.
Yo cuando estoy mucho rato cagando. Me pegan a sudar las nalgas y termino patinando en la tapa.
-el discursito de Gloria estuvo ready.
-lo del freezer es excelente pregunta. Como en 7mo cogi artes industriales y nos ense~aron a hacer circuitos para bombillitas, le estare instalando una proximamente.
-tu amiga es una malagradeci'a.
-nunca leo cuando voy al ba~o.
mis idas al baño no duran mucho. es cuestión de segundos. mi culo e inodoro son muy eficientes.
minutos antes de leer el blog vi el video de soltero... debo decir que me asusta lo ke esta pasando.
a veces me pongo los skinny jeans esos y pal final del dia me duelen los dedos de tanto sacar el celular.
lyla si te tiras esa enviame PICS!
Yo mi imagino las nalgas de Nerdote resbalando en la tapa del inodoro. Eso debe sonar como en los anuncios de antes de Vel, que la tipa pasaba el deo en el plato y chillaba...
El primer pensamiento al azar me ha intrigado. Por qué quieren que veas bien la comida que está en el refrigerador, mas no así la que está en el congelador. A la misma vez que digo eso, loco, el refrigerador es paal más grande que el congelador, con gavetitas y mierdas súper bien pensadas. El freezer son dos tablillas y pa fuera. Al garo.
Ya hay freezer con bombilla. Eso si se joden a cada rato. Quizas sea por el frio. Eso me acordo que siempre me rega~aban cuando abria las dos puertas (nevera y freezer) para que una iluminara la otra (ojo- de noche para no prender la bombilla de la cocina que era como estar en pi~ones)
Yo tambien sudo la tapa si me tardo mucho en cagar.
Creo que los budista aun no han aconsejado meditar en un inodoro, creo que ahi es mas facil... uno se va en un viaje.
será pq el frost taparía la bombilla haçiéndola inútil?
Tener un blog llamado arroz con pinga también tripea.
Me estoy muriendo de la risa con eso del "xoxo" a partir de hoy mi perspectiva con respecto a eso ha sido alterada para siempre.
Saludos brother, qué pasa con los videos nuevos de ESOEZ?
ya mismo sale uno. 10 días o algo así. Ya está grabado. Falta editar y eso...
Jajajaja...es verdad....muchas de las cosas leidas han cambiado mi mundo...jajajja...pero quiero hacer referencia al hecho de que...los hombres siempre pretenden que una se trague todo y se lo saboree como si fuera un mantecadito de cold stone y toda la cosa...y si a ellos les cae es como que fuchiii...miren gente...no obliguen a uno a hacer lo que ustedes no estan dispuestos a hacer....jajajjaa.....tu pruebate la tragaita y despues hablamos...jajajaja
pa eso de la laptop y cagar pueden hacer dos cosas: 1) ponerse una toalla en los muslos pa q no caliente tanto o, 2) usar una mesita de esas de madera chiquitas que uno usa pa comer; esas mesas son la ley.
Diache la descarga de Gloria Soltero estuvo bien chevere! Me senti bien boricua, por poco me levanto con la mano derecha en el corazon y gritando: QUE VIVA LA REVOLUCION PU~ETA!!! Mano esa tipa es mi heroina! En serio!
Gloria soltero es tu mai, o tu tia?
Gloria soltero es mi pai!!
Candy: ok. no pido q se lo traguen. Reconozco q está cabrón. Pero yo no lo trago ni pal' carajo.
seré yo el unico que caga y lee de su celular?? Tripea eso? Cabron!
jajaja Jonmicol yo tambien hago lo mismo!
tripea bien cabron. Yo quisiera tener internet desde mi celu =(
pues yo tengo internet, soy pobre pero tengo un iPhone... que cojones verdad??? y no vengan q no soy cuponero lo pago con el sudor de mi guebo!
El sudor de los guebos apesta.
en verdad q si... apesta a queso fino
Salia con un nene que se mordia las unas de los pies y le gustaba la costrita que salia de adentro para olerla.
ya no salimos mas. fo
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