Thursday, October 29, 2009

Una Marometa mientras se lo metías por el Culo

Este blog-post puede ofender.

Un amigo me contó algo bien loco. Supuestamente, cuando se lo mete a la jeva por el culo, el amigo mio hace una (particular) marometa.

El tipo alega que cuando tiene el bicho dentro de (el culo de) la jeva, el tipo mete el puño dentro del crico. El puño entero. Eso no es todo. . .

Bien. Antes de continuar, tengo q explicar una parte del cuerpo de la mujer. El Cruco. El cruco es la telita divisoria que tienen las mujeres entre el culo y el crico. Dado a la posición de la telita (entre el crico y el culo), muchos debates han surgido queriendo cambiar el nombre de "cruco" a "crulo". Whatever.

Pues el comportamiento de esa tela es bien curioso. Es una telita muy frágil. Pero se comporta parecido al lycra en su elasticidad. Para que tengas una idea: si hay un pedazo de lycra estirado alfrente tuyo, y al otro lado (de la lycra) hay un bate; puedes agarrar el bate atravez de la tela. Tu mano no pierde su grip ni su forma aunque tenga la lycra de por medio.

Volvamos al panita metiéndoselo por el culo a la jeva. Pues el dice que, mientras se lo mete por el boqueteL' culo, el mete su mano por el crico de la jeva. ¡La mano COMPLETA! Por el crico. El panita alega que, una vez tiene el bicho dentruel' culo y la mano dentruel' crico, y esta es la parte impresionante; el tipo se raspa una puñeta. Osea, a través del cruco, igual que lo del bate con la licra y tu mano.

Osea. El tipo se raspa una puñeta mientras tiene sexo anal. ¡Anda pal' carajo! Le dije que es un "milagro" que no le haya "hecho añicos" el cruco a su jeva. Y el me contestó bien lógicamente: "¿Como va a ser? Romper ni romper. Eso es un músculo como cualquier otro. Al principio, solamente me acariciaba el bico con el dedo malo. Poco a poco fui metiendo más dedos hasta que desarrollé el cruco (de ella) y pues, me puedo raspar puñetas y que se joda to'". Triunfo, ¿verdá?

Para saber cuanto tiempo llevaba con el tratamiento al cruco de la jeva, le pregunté que cuanto llevaban juntos:

"Como 13 días"

Táquiti.

165 comments:

Ley La Terrorista said...

ay madre miaaaa! tu pana es un triunfador pero no se compara con la verdadera triunfadora de la historia la fleje novia del pana tuyo ajajaja

Alumno said...

Cierto lo que dice Ley!

Y... esa foto me da pena y miedo a la ves. Que cjones.

La jeva ya casi casi defeca y orina por el mismo agujero ( algo mas ...GRANDE)

Ana-K-ona said...

Uy!! Eso en vez de choch@ debe parecer un saco de papa.

La tiene que tener destroza'

Me dolio solo de pensarlo.

Que egoista suena esa pendeja'

ahhhh. Me danaste la mente por lo que me queda del dia.

dark_Coqui said...

No me ofendio, pero destruyo lo que quedaba del nino inocente adentro de mi, y lo que queda esta convertido en mounstro como el nene de la foto

nosotros tenemos algun tipo de cruco?

W.D said...

WTF cabron esto es totalmente traumante jajaja

Nerdote said...

Dark. El CRUCO de las mujeres es el NIE para los hombre. El nie = ni es bicho, ni es culo. También es el lugar donde tenemos la costura de todo el cuerpo.

W.D.= esa es la idea.

AcoolPRican said...

El tipo esta realizado entonces... puede pedir sexo a viva voz y la mayoria se cree que esta pidiendo permiso pa' ir a un chinchorro, cuando lo escuchan decir "Voy a guayar la catrueca en el cruco"

Capitán Puñeta said...

Yo una vez intente meterle una bocinita de I-Pod por el culo a mi novia mientras le introducía mi bicho adentro de su humectada vagina.

Después de eso, ella se convirtió en mi EX-novia, y pa' colmo nunca logré recuperar mi fokin bocinita. FAIL!

Kaos said...

Carajos... despues de meterle el puno en la crica no vale la pena meterle el bicho.. que carajos va a ser como tirar cantazos a una ventana abierta... como dice capi FAIL

Nerdote said...

Esa marometa se debería de llamar:

"Anal Handcuffs"

Nerdote said...

Esa marometa se debería de llamar:

"Anal Handcuffs"

Jonmicol said...

sabra dios si el pana tuyo se cree que fue el primero en darle por el cruco a la tipa y ella a estado cruqueando hace tiempito ya y fue ELLA la que le dio la idea a el porque se acordó del noviecito cruquero que tenía en la high! Dile que investige bien las aveturas cruquisticas a la cabrona esa!! Algo me huele mal aqui...pero creo que son mis deos!

Nerdote said...

El viejo truco de sugerir hasta que la otra persona crea que se le ocurrió la idea a él. TRIUNFO

Ella es la cruquera de seguro.

j.darko said...

diablo lo que dice Kaos es bien cierto, seria como meterle el bicho a un tubo PBC de 20 pulgadas de ancho; como meterselo a una vieja, o como echar la cintura pa'l frente y pa' atras como un demente al aire. Si, eso mismo, como clavarte el aire. Ademas, esa tipa ya no tiene moco de pavo, lo que tiene ahi es el pellejo de todos los abuelitos del mundo juntos. un dia de estos le va a meter los dos pu~os y le va a pasar como a Capi, va a pasar de novia a ex-novia. de aqui a pa'l de a~os vas a ver que va a estar soltera y va a tener una mascota en su casa siempre: UN CABALLO! la gente le va a preguntar: "pero por que tu no tienes novio", y ella va a decir: "me siento bien sola"...

Capitán Puñeta said...

Fokin cruquera PUTA!

Jonmicol said...

ME CAGO EN LA CRUCA DE TU MADRE CABRONA!!!

Manolo Matos said...

Me encanta la aclaración debajo del título cuando ya todo el mundo está ofendido luego de leer el título...

Manolo Matos said...

Capi, si algo bueno aprendemos en esta entrada de sensei Nerdote es que primero le metes el audífono y vas aumentando progresivamente hasta la bocina del ipod. Quién sabe, quizá algún día puedas meterle hasta el ipod touch.

Nerdote said...

Capi cabrón. Era wireless la bocina? Ti te imaginas que te le pegues con tu ipod y derepente pegue a salir un alboroto del crico de ella.

El crico sonoro de la ex de capi.

ericcolon said...

cabron estas loco pal carajo. y por poco me cago encima con esa foto.

Nerdote said...

Ese es el hijo del diablo.

Cooki3 said...

Esa mujer lo q debe de tener es un tunel de minillas, es mas si le hablan escuchan un eco estilo cavernas de Camuy jajaja

Una pregunta preguntativa: que tipo de sexo ustedes disfrutan mas, el anal o el regular?

Robi said...

Nerdote tú mente anda por caminos de depravación, tú eres un depravado...

...si crees que voy a seguir leyendo esas mierdas pues, estás en lo correcto.

¿Y qué carajo es ese nene de la foto, uy!?

Rana said...

Muy Informativo.

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