Thursday, July 14, 2011

La historia de acuerdo a @Nerdote


Viste. Dios creó los Dinosaurios primero. Después siguió practicando y se puso más duro y ahí sacó a los humanos.

En la biblia dice que toda esta cuestión se hizo en 7 días pero eso es embuste. En verdá fueron un montón de años.

Él obviamente sabía que los humanos y los dinosaurios no podían convivir* y ahí fue que creó una lluvia de meteoritos. Pa' matarlos y lanzar a los humanos.

Y par de años después de que mató a los dinosaurios, sacó a los humanos. Pero recuérdate que los primeros humanos eran más brutos y parecidos a los monos (los monos sí habían logrado convivir con los dinosaurios). Esos primeros humanos eran como nuestra versión beta. Creo que tenían cola y to' y no pensaban mucho. Sólo pensaban en comer y tener coito sexual. No pensaban ni en cagar. La caca les salía y ellos no entendían lo que era eso. Poco a poco Dios fue poniéndose más y más duro haciendo humanos y ahí sacó lo que hoy conocemos "el humano moderno". EL primer humano moderno se llamó Sammy.

*no sé si alguien aquí vio Jurassic Park, pero en esa película se estudia a profundidad la teoría del "qué pasaría si hubiésems convivido seres humanos junto con dinosaurios" . . . ¡Nos hubiesen comido!

43 comments:

Mierdoso said...

Nerdote, metete los dinosaurios por el culo y dile a Dios que te cure la micorpenia. So cabrón.

Anonymous said...

lol el comment d mierdoso me recordo el boricua pawel tuyo el d la micropenia http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_p6mnTT3uObk/TTuOFVJuFYI/AAAAAAAAA7g/wfbv_pkPRSo/s640/44Z4.jpg.png

Anonymous said...

Dios te bendiga PEC

Vlade said...

En "Airplane!" (la mejor comedia de la historia) dicen la historia del mundo de la siguiente manera:

Primero existieron los dinosaurios, después los dinosaurios se murieron y se convirtieron en petróleo. Después los árabes controlaban el petróleo hasta que llegaron los judíos y se inventaron todas las guerras por petróleo.

Lo más cabrón es que es gracioso porque es verídico.

Que En Paz Descanse el Teniente Frank Drebin

Ley La Terrorista said...

Gracias por ilustrarnos. Usted es un conocedor de los wenos.

Anonymous said...

El hombre viene de los monos y los dinosaurios de las bacterias. Los humanos si convivieron con los dinosaurios y se llevaban muy bien. Dios no existe y no es tan listo na. Si el sabía que seriamos unos ineptos egoístas y ambiciosos irracionales no nos hubiera creado. Buen post, Ley Te Amo hershey pie.

Alien Queen said...

Al menos tiene más sentido que la idiotez escrita en el Génesis.

Mrliquidjcb said...

Solo pensaban en comer,tener coito sexual y cagar?
Osea nada diferente a hoy en dia pero eran brutos los dinosaurio no tenia facebook,con el estubiesen vivos

Anonymous said...

Chorro de enagenados mentales!!!! por gente hereje como ustedes es que el mundo esta como esta!!!!

Anonymous said...

Un génesis algarete. Yo sólo sé que Dios es la bisne.

Sancocho Prieto said...

Nerdote debería fundar su propia religión.Jajajajajaj!!!!! Tremendo!!!!

Anonymous said...

jajajjajajaja ya hacia falta un escrito asi cm los de la vieja guardia y faltan mas cuentos con chuito y zuela

Anonymous said...

Nerdote cabrón, te faltó cerrar las comillas en la última oración... no voy a poder dormir tranquilo. Lambeñema.

ESOEZ said...

Gracias mamabicho.

Culebra Vacations said...

Amen!

Ateo del monton said...

Baaaaah DIOS NO EXISTE BAAAAAAAHHH SOY INTELIGENTE POR SER ATEO BAAAAAAAHHHH LOS QUE CREEN EN DIOS SON BRUTOS BAAAAAAAAH

Anonymous said...

Nerdote, so cabron te tardaste 12 dias pa escribir esta mierda y para como no esta de acuerdo con lo que realidad paso. Pu~eta postiaste el video del gran historiador Hunter y ahora te le vas en contra?
Te deberian cocer el culo!

XOXO,
Mistel Wil

Mio~Mio said...

En completo acuerdo.... pero yo solamente quiero verle el fucking bicho a la foto!!!!

kannonpr said...

Me cago en DIOJ!

Anonymous said...

Mi gente Dios no existe! asi lo saben la gente inteligente q piensan por si mismos y no se dejan ebaucar con el cuento de hadas y fantasias de meter miedo en la biblia y las iglesias, q para lo q sirven espara sacarle dinero a la gente por los buscoones que las forman, y digo por todas las iglesias en general!

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