Thursday, February 19, 2009

!Engrandécete la Pinga con Ilusiones Ópticas!


Yo no sé si es que yo soy medio pato o algo, pero cuando meo en un urinal y tengo vecinos en áreas adyacentes, me agarro el bicho de manera distinta a cuando estoy to' solo. Me explico. Cuando meo en la comodidad de mi propia casa, agarro mi bicho por el pellejo. En otras palabras, lo único que hace contacto con mi bicho son las puntas de mis dedos indice y pulgar. De la mano derecha. Para sacudir el agarre es más o menos el mismo pero por encimita en vez de por el lado. Similar a la manera en la que mamá perra agarra a sus cachorros. Por el pellejito detrás de la cabeza. Lo único que yo no utilizo mi boca. Utilizo mi mano. Ojalá mi boca llegara hasta allá. No estaría ni perdiendo mi tiempo en esta mierda. Estaría todo el tiempo haciendome maravillas y auto-cumshots. Fo puñeta se me fue la mano ahí. Mientras meo, en la comodidad de mi propia casa, utilizo la mano izquierda para someterle al q-tip o para peinarme la boina del bicho. Ahora bien. Cuando meo en baños públicos, el behavior es totalmente distinto. Primero que nada, me agarro el bicho como los corredores de relevo agarran el palo ese. O como alguna persona agarraría la manguera, añadase cara de alivio al agarrante por favor. Esto da la impresión de que lo que tienes por pinga es, olvídate una cosa monumental. Claje' patería lo sé. Pero piénsalo, siempre es bueno que la gente de por ahí (hombres Y mujeres) diga que lo que tienes por bicho es una trompa cabrona. Especialmente si la realidad es que lo que tienes por bicho es una pepita de uvas violetas, lo cual es mi caso =(. Pero deja no descarrilarme que va y me deprimo denuevo y me pongo a amenazar a mi mai de que me voy a volar los cesos y eso. Pues aja, para sacudirme lo que hago es jamaquear ese bicho como si fuese una botella de snapple. Una botella que inicialmente tenía todo el polvito de sabor en el fondo, o en el culo, como prefieras llamarle, y hay que someterle al jamaqueo pa' que se mezcle to' denuevo. Pues así hago con mi pepita de uva. Pero como es tan y tan rápido, y el vecino es como un testigo por obligación, y con el rabito del ojo, jura que soy uno de los tipos de MonsterCock <----site porno bien cabrón. La otra mano la pongo en la pared alfrente como para balancearme y no caerme dado a que el bicho mio agigantado está por fuera y crea un desequilibrio en el peso humano. Eso lo hacemos todos los hombres y creo que subconscientemente es que todo el mundo está en ese viaje de "tengo un bicho bien fucking grande".

307 comments:

1 – 200 of 307   Newer›   Newest»
Jonmicol said...

Jajajajaja.....very foquin funny!

Tambien me tripeo a los que cuando ven que uno viene se pegan bien cabrón al urinal como si uno quiziera verle el comecurri a ellos y despues se hechan para atras al sentir que su miembro toca la parte de atras del urinal y despues del susto terminan con las manos mojadas de pipí....jajajajaj!!! Eso me hace reir tanto y tanto que aveces cuando no tienen reacción lo que hago es que los empujo con un pie en las nalgas pa que el bicho toque a tras y despues comienza el rodeo hose clown show.....jajajajajajaj!!! Acho que aburrimiento tengo.......

Luiyo! said...

Dialo cabron...Que complejo mas increible!

Nerdote said...

Increíble es la pepita e uva púrpura que tengo.

Virgen said...

oye hazte post mas chulos que estos estan muy apagao, y ponte cbox o algo asi pa deja un saludito aunque sea porque mira que tener que comentar solo para decir hola ta chopo eso.

Jonmicol said...

Virgen.....sera lo de la pepita de uva que te quitó lo de chulo? Anyways, ya tu sabes nerdote....deja esa vaina que eto ta' chopo ya coñazo!

Luiyo! said...

Chopo...que carajo significa eso? Nerdote t jodistes, por que eso de chopo me huele a fufú blogsistico.

Mira, en cuanto a tu pepita diminuta y miserable, cuelgate una pesa en la punta de la pinga...Los chinos dicen que eso esta cabron.

Lui said...

anda! pues a mi me gusto el post como siempre. unico. original.

Ahora, puedo recomendar una foto mas colorida y alegre pal proximo post jajaja.

Nerdote said...

Virgen puñeta escribe en español carajo a ti no hay quien te entienda. Chocheta. Crica bicho pinga.

Gajonauta said...

Eso es espanyol dominicaino, respeta.

Nerdote, no tienes que coger el nombre de tu blog tan a pecho. Estas hablando mucho de tu pinga pa'l tiempo que nos conocemos.

María Cecilia said...

jajaja

Virgen said...

De acuerdo disculpa esribire mas claro la proxima, tienes razón estoy usando mucha jerga dominicana.

Jonmicol: no estoy diciendo que deje esto, me gusta lo que escribe, y solo le sugeria que pusiera una caja de chat rapido, como el que tu tienes, ahora eso es opcional, pues cada quien sabe como administrar su espacio, o fue miintecion molestar con eso, tendre que ser mas cuidadosa.

Nerdote said...

Así me gusta Virgen. Mancita y humildein.

Virgen said...

ni mansa ni humilde, no soy perrito, solo reconozco cuando estoy herrada.

ya te imagino con la novia, jajaja. No veremos.

Feto said...

jajajajajaja

Nerdote said...

Errada sin "h" virgen. Sin "H".

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