Thursday, February 19, 2009

!Engrandécete la Pinga con Ilusiones Ópticas!


Yo no sé si es que yo soy medio pato o algo, pero cuando meo en un urinal y tengo vecinos en áreas adyacentes, me agarro el bicho de manera distinta a cuando estoy to' solo. Me explico. Cuando meo en la comodidad de mi propia casa, agarro mi bicho por el pellejo. En otras palabras, lo único que hace contacto con mi bicho son las puntas de mis dedos indice y pulgar. De la mano derecha. Para sacudir el agarre es más o menos el mismo pero por encimita en vez de por el lado. Similar a la manera en la que mamá perra agarra a sus cachorros. Por el pellejito detrás de la cabeza. Lo único que yo no utilizo mi boca. Utilizo mi mano. Ojalá mi boca llegara hasta allá. No estaría ni perdiendo mi tiempo en esta mierda. Estaría todo el tiempo haciendome maravillas y auto-cumshots. Fo puñeta se me fue la mano ahí. Mientras meo, en la comodidad de mi propia casa, utilizo la mano izquierda para someterle al q-tip o para peinarme la boina del bicho. Ahora bien. Cuando meo en baños públicos, el behavior es totalmente distinto. Primero que nada, me agarro el bicho como los corredores de relevo agarran el palo ese. O como alguna persona agarraría la manguera, añadase cara de alivio al agarrante por favor. Esto da la impresión de que lo que tienes por pinga es, olvídate una cosa monumental. Claje' patería lo sé. Pero piénsalo, siempre es bueno que la gente de por ahí (hombres Y mujeres) diga que lo que tienes por bicho es una trompa cabrona. Especialmente si la realidad es que lo que tienes por bicho es una pepita de uvas violetas, lo cual es mi caso =(. Pero deja no descarrilarme que va y me deprimo denuevo y me pongo a amenazar a mi mai de que me voy a volar los cesos y eso. Pues aja, para sacudirme lo que hago es jamaquear ese bicho como si fuese una botella de snapple. Una botella que inicialmente tenía todo el polvito de sabor en el fondo, o en el culo, como prefieras llamarle, y hay que someterle al jamaqueo pa' que se mezcle to' denuevo. Pues así hago con mi pepita de uva. Pero como es tan y tan rápido, y el vecino es como un testigo por obligación, y con el rabito del ojo, jura que soy uno de los tipos de MonsterCock <----site porno bien cabrón. La otra mano la pongo en la pared alfrente como para balancearme y no caerme dado a que el bicho mio agigantado está por fuera y crea un desequilibrio en el peso humano. Eso lo hacemos todos los hombres y creo que subconscientemente es que todo el mundo está en ese viaje de "tengo un bicho bien fucking grande".

252 comments:

1 – 200 of 252   Newer›   Newest»
Jonmicol said...

Jajajajaja.....very foquin funny!

Tambien me tripeo a los que cuando ven que uno viene se pegan bien cabrón al urinal como si uno quiziera verle el comecurri a ellos y despues se hechan para atras al sentir que su miembro toca la parte de atras del urinal y despues del susto terminan con las manos mojadas de pipí....jajajajaj!!! Eso me hace reir tanto y tanto que aveces cuando no tienen reacción lo que hago es que los empujo con un pie en las nalgas pa que el bicho toque a tras y despues comienza el rodeo hose clown show.....jajajajajajaj!!! Acho que aburrimiento tengo.......

Capitán Puñeta said...

Dialo cabron...Que complejo mas increible!

Nerdote said...

Increíble es la pepita e uva púrpura que tengo.

Anonymous said...

oye hazte post mas chulos que estos estan muy apagao, y ponte cbox o algo asi pa deja un saludito aunque sea porque mira que tener que comentar solo para decir hola ta chopo eso.

Jonmicol said...

Virgen.....sera lo de la pepita de uva que te quitó lo de chulo? Anyways, ya tu sabes nerdote....deja esa vaina que eto ta' chopo ya coñazo!

Capitán Puñeta said...

Chopo...que carajo significa eso? Nerdote t jodistes, por que eso de chopo me huele a fufú blogsistico.

Mira, en cuanto a tu pepita diminuta y miserable, cuelgate una pesa en la punta de la pinga...Los chinos dicen que eso esta cabron.

Lui said...

anda! pues a mi me gusto el post como siempre. unico. original.

Ahora, puedo recomendar una foto mas colorida y alegre pal proximo post jajaja.

Nerdote said...

Virgen puñeta escribe en español carajo a ti no hay quien te entienda. Chocheta. Crica bicho pinga.

Nazario said...

Eso es espanyol dominicaino, respeta.

Nerdote, no tienes que coger el nombre de tu blog tan a pecho. Estas hablando mucho de tu pinga pa'l tiempo que nos conocemos.

Ceci Plomo said...

jajaja

Anonymous said...

De acuerdo disculpa esribire mas claro la proxima, tienes razón estoy usando mucha jerga dominicana.

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Nerdote said...

Así me gusta Virgen. Mancita y humildein.

Anonymous said...

ni mansa ni humilde, no soy perrito, solo reconozco cuando estoy herrada.

ya te imagino con la novia, jajaja. No veremos.

Feto said...

jajajajajaja

Nerdote said...

Errada sin "h" virgen. Sin "H".

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Einige �nderungen, eine perfekte niemals so sch�dlich sind, werden eine gute �nderungen Wartung, sowie obwohl Diese denken, das �berhaupt nicht auf Die police zutreffen, wenn Diese kommen harte Zeiten uff ( berlinerisch ) Diese sonst glauben. Jeder sollte ideen, wer die police ihre Bez�ge an sowie diese die police gegenseitig mit Fragen zu t�tigen. Ich mythus �berhaupt nicht, dass Sie die police nennen einmal in der sparte Monat um hallo nach besagen haben, jedoch was, wenn Sie Ihren Job verlieren? Die police m�ssen ideen, was Ihre Optionen werden oder um Etwas �ber eine Anpassung m�ssen Diese ideen, welche person Ihre Dienste Kredite nach sagen. Es wird sofort das weiterkommen "Service" Bill of Rights "in Ihr Darlehen, gute noch viel in der sparte Entwurf der B�hnen, sondern wichtig z. hd. Sie zu wissen. Das sollte Ihnen irgendetwas Aufmunterung, da diese Ern�hrer werden zur Rechenschaft nach dr�ckt sowie dazu sorgen, dass diese uff ( berlinerisch ) die Unterlagen within Bezug aufw�rts Ihr Darlehen Angehend werden aufgelistet. Auch eine gute "Wartung" Bill of Rights "werden Bedingungen, als gute Kreditnehmer werden indem des gesamten Prozesses behandelt setzen. Das bedeutet, dass diese m�ssen eine bestimmte Unzahl an Verlust-Minderung Personal f�r die Antr�ge gen �nderungen Griff haben und ebenfalls diese werden geschult, um Kreditnehmers Fragen echte Antworten nach reagieren. Sie k�nnen auf keinen fall st�rungsfrei anlegen auf Sie und / oder sagen Die police jemandem anzurufen. Dazu wird die Leute zust�ndig und / oder zumindest m�ssen sie sein sowie f�r den fall dass sie nicht werden, werden diese verpackt.



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Es gibt eine Menge Leute daselbst extern suchen, um inside dies groesste und / oder teuerste Haus sie gegenseitig leisten koennen, machbar nach dehnen. Sobald Die police gegenseitig nach strecken, die 30-jaehrige will, ist Festhypothek sicherlich eine perfekte beste Wahl. Aber man sollte de facto erwaegen Sie diese Eigenschaften within Ihrer Preisklasse z. hd. eine 15-jaehrige Hypothek. Nicht zuletzt fuer den fall dass Sie werde das Haus hinein frau Jahrzehnt, falls Diese es verkaufen zu verkaufen, gibt es fuer sie mehr Gerechtigkeit within diese Heimat zurueck. Ihre Zahlungen haben wir fuer Die police arbeiten, ueberhaupt nicht gegen you.There werden ebenfalls diejenigen, gute aus nehmen Diese eine gute 30-jaehrige - ausschliesslich fuer den Sachverhalt - sowie zahlen es aus wie eine 15-jaehrige. Es wirkt nichts falsch mit diesem. So positionieren Sie sicher, dass Ihre Hypothek niemals mit Vorfaelligkeitsentschaedigungen kommen. Diese muessen ausschliesslich feststehen, dass Diese genug, um eine gute zusaetzlichen Zahlungen nach leisten werden diszipliniert. Das wirkt der einsame Weg, save.Most Menschen betrachten ihre Haeuser ihre groesste Investition wird. Es wirkt Ihnen niemals zu viel ausgaben. Loszuwerden Ihre Schuld ist diese grossartigste Hosenschritt sowie Tritt nach leben freien Willen. Eine Hypothek ist ueberhaupt nicht etwas, das man hinaus seine Sollbruchstelle dehnen sollte. Diese 15-Jahres-Hypothek ist eine weise Entscheid fuer den Hausbesitzer mit mann Auge within die Zukunft.


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